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Old Flames: Are We Playing With Fire? | HuffPost

13 Sep So any reason you can think of for getting in touch with an old flame, the same goes for guys and their exes. for a couple of months over a decade ago, and even in that short time I managed to cheat on her, so I felt sufficiently distanced by time and my old, cold lack of concern to safely socialize with her. 26 May Lots of laughing about old times, old jokes. Old lives. Sometimes our talks went late into the evening, though. A cocktail or two would be had, and memories would bubble up to the surface, some of them still tender even after the passage of so much time. One recent chat turned into an exchange of YouTube. 15 Nov How strange that this old flame should decide we had 'things' to discuss, unfinished business, after all this time. . The woman in question is right about one thing — she isn't good enough for him, precisely because she hasn't the courage to finish their long relationship honestly, whatever the reason.

A while back I posed a question to the people on my blog's Facebook page. I asked about the intelligence of meeting up with Seeing An Old Flame After A Long Time old flame, who is now married. I said I was asking for a friend but I'm sure they are all smart enough to know I was asking for me.

Old Flame is my college boyfriend. Our relationship lasted several years, through college and both of us taking different paths afterwards: We did the long-distance thing for several months before I decided to end it, citing the difficulties of keeping love alive with thousands of miles between us.

And that was that, until a couple decades later when social media invaded our lives. A lot had happened during those years: Being a flight attendant wasn't the thrill I'd expected, and I moved back to Minnesota where I settled on a career in retail. I'd been married for 13 years, had four children and gone through a harrowing divorce which made life very interesting for a while.

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He'd waited longer, finally settling down in a neighboring Minneapolis suburb with his wife and young children. He sent me a friend request on Facebook a few years ago and on occasion, we exchanged messages. Nothing flirtatious, nothing scandalous. Lots of laughing about old times, old jokes. Sometimes our talks went late into the evening, though.

A cocktail or two would be had, and memories see more bubble up to the surface, some of them still tender even after the passage of so much time. One recent chat turned into an exchange of YouTube videos of songs that reminded us of each other.

During a recent conversation, he suggested meeting for lunch somewhere, to catch up. In my naive mind, it was no big thing. We even joked about how different we look now. But I have a habit of being blissfully oblivious as to what constitutes a societal no-no. I should check with some of my single people. I was being vague with my readers because I'm pretty sure Old Flame reads my blog and I didn't want to be rude.

Also, I'm a Minnesotan who is also a Libra and terrified of offending people. Regardless of intentions, no matter how innocent it may seem, most of my awesome Seeing An Old Flame After A Long Time felt it was a terrible, no good, very bad idea. We ended up not meeting, and communication has dwindled. Which is probably a good thing, right?

Seeing An Old Flame After A Long Time

See, I am so clueless. So source of the comments were disparaging of my Old Flame. His character was questioned, people discussed the integrity of his marriage.

We are a cagey bunch, you know. Once bitten, twice shy and all that jazz. It made me wonder if it's a no-no to be friends with former loves only if your marital status isn't the same? Were my readers questioning his motives simply because I'm single?

Hi, yes, once you find her and contact her, there is no turning back. So what did I do in the end about that e-mail I received from my old flame? I got married as well to a guy named Jim.

If I were happily married, as he stated he is, would it make things less shady? One thing I did mention on the Facebook post was how I'm tired of getting attention from married guys.

My flirt-o-meter may be brokenbut my brain isn't It's not like my phone is buzzing with texts from married guys all the live long day, but it happens now and again. I really do feel as though I have a Married Man Magnet stuck to my forehead at times.

Seeing An Old Flame After A Long Time

A couple of the comments addressed this particular issue, and what they said about it has been rattling around in my brain ever since. One woman suggested maybe the reason the married fellas come sniffing around is because THOSE are the men I'm giving attention to But then I read another comment and that really woke me up.

I felt as though she could see into my head, and that freaked me out more than a little http://24dating.me/bege/adele-and-ben-hookup-in-the-dark.php.

A Lion sees his friend after a long time, ran and hug him

Could this be me? I adore most of my friend's husbands. But I don't feel like I give them any more, or special, attention. To me they are more like nice Seeing An Old Flame After A Long Time brothers. And in that case, maybe what this commenter said about them being "easier to talk to" and "safe" does apply to this situation. Maybe I really am more comfortable opening up to them. Being my true self. Because there is zero risk involved. As far as Old Flame is concerned?

That's where it gets murky. What if that was my one real love and I threw it all away 25 years ago? What if we only see more a certain number of chances at this relationship thing and I burned through all of mine in the first half of my life?

What if I am destined to be everyone's perpetually single Aunt Jenny, showing up at parties wearing chunky necklaces and Eileen Fisher tunics, carrying a tub of my famous spinach dip? In hindsight, I am so glad the meeting with Old Flame never took place.

Looking at it from other perspectives made it perfectly clear: What really clinched it was looking at the whole thing from a wifely viewpoint, one I'm not used to peering through anymore. I had to dredge up those old feelings, remember what it felt like to be betrothed and how scary it was when that bond was threatened by some force, real or imagined. It made me go back to those awful nights when I couldn't get a hold of my then-husband.

Standing out in the front yard, leaving slightly desperate, verge of weeping messages. Finding receipts for dinners that he brushed off as "work things".

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That time he misplaced his cellphone and the look of terror in his eyes when I picked up my phone and said, "Here, I'll call it. My marriage died slowly, day by day over several months. Had I known it was in trouble, I think I would have been a bit more suspicious about things like cell phones left who knows where and receipts from steakhouses showing two dinners and two bottles of wine were purchased for a "work thing".

I know for damn sure my worry flags would have sprung to life if I'd discovered my hubby was chatting online with his old, very serious, girlfriend. The flags would have jumped off their poles and slapped me upside my dumb, blind head if I'd found out he was planning on meeting her.

I'd rather http://24dating.me/bege/can-hookup-your-best-friend-work.php my memories and my what ifs somewhere safe, where they won't do any harm to me, or anyone else.

Jennifer blogs about life after divorce at The Happy Hausfrau. Connect with her on FacebookTwitterand Instagram.

Researching lost love Submitted by D on November 19, - 9: Tears sprang into her eyes when she saw who was calling. Only after I left town did he reveal to me that he was in love with me. Thank you for this article - I found it both very interesting and exceptionally good timing, as I have just recently asked my partner to "unfriend" a particular ex-boyfriend on Facebook. In Gujarat assembly election, voters preferred wealthy candidates over less wealthy

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. And that was that, until a couple decades later when social media invaded our lives A lot had happened during those years: Probably a good thing that we didn't meet.

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