What do I do if I am the toxic friend/person? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
What does being a “toxic person” look like?
15 Sep Unless you're a CEO, a politician or a the head of some kind of militia, you shouldn't be making enemies in life. Sure, not everybody is going to like you, but people shouldn't hate you. As a toxic person, if you can figure it out why people are hostile toward you, you may be on your way to making a change. 5 Mar Even more, I tried to identify some simple ways to avoid becoming such a person. What follows is only a short list of what I found. Generally speaking, I was searching for things which can lower your toxic “gas emissions”, making it easier to become an “ecological” citizen. The list is not even near to be. You do not have to be perfect to be a good person. You will make unwise decisions, hurt those who love you, and say mean things to others. At times, you push too hard to get things working in your way. These things do not make us toxic but human. We learn and grow through our messes. Toxic people never learn from.
We all love to lament about toxic people.
In fact, the Internet seems to have blown up overnight with articles about them. Unhealthy — even if that lack of health is innocent. And this is so often the case with toxic relationships. And the relationship becomes toxic as a result. We have to compromise a little to heavily to make it work with a toxic person. We have to extend ourselves a little too far.
And this is the reality of so many toxic relationships — both parties mean well. But the end result is nonetheless poisonous. We like to perceive toxic people to be monsters — trying to tear us down and make our lives wretched at all costs. And this us-versus-them mentality forces a problematic rift in the way we perceive toxic people.
They are evil monsterswe tell ourselves. We decide that because our intentions are good, we could never be toxic to anyone. And this is how the cycle perpetuates.
49 thoughts on “Are You Toxic To Deal With? How To Tell, and How To Change”
You may not have realized it. You may not have registered it. But at some point in time, someone probably strained a little too hard to make a relationship work with you. They probably took a few blows to their self-esteem measuring themselves up to you. They probably went out on a limb to support you and ended up cracking under the pressure. These things happen, readily and regularly, often without us even noticing.
Very few people approach life with deliberately ill intent. Very few people make it a goal to make their loved ones miserable. Very few people deliberately set out to wreak havoc within their personal relationships and yet so many of us do so anyway. We let each other down. We fail to see the bigger picture.
5 Signs You're Dating a Toxic Person (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
We prioritize things as X, Y, Z, not realizing that our friends or our partners or our loved ones prioritize them as Y, Z, X. And our relationship spirals into toxic territory without us even realizing it. That none of us are perfect. Because the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can end these cycles of toxicity, instead of endlessly pointing fingers at each other. You can care for them and still be toxic. Neither of you are to blame. But the result is what it is. One of the hardest lessons we may ever have to learn is that sometimes, the best way to love someone we love is from a distance.
That no matter how much we want them to thrive and expand and be happy, we will never be the people who facilitate that expansion. A lot of toxicity is accidental. A lot of it is innocent. A lot of it is approached with genuinely positive intentions.
And so we learn to forgive ourselves for the toxicity we did not mean to cause.
2. Say Only What You Mean
We learn to forgive each other for it, too. And everybody will not be the right fit for us. So we accept that. We set aside our differences. We take our space when we need it. And we learn to love each other from afar. At the end of the day, you have two choices in love — one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.
I think everyone has a quote that has ignited something within them — a quote that has stirred their heart and inspired their creativity.
At times like these, after yet another relationship breakup and the other person at last happy to be rid of me, I honestly wish I had. During my divorce this man offered my ex-husband to have me killed, believe it or not — my ex was so taken aback that he warned me. But I don;t want to cause any more pain and I know my here would do just that. We all have to watch how we behave and what we are saying to another.
A good quote can make me write for hours, I think that is why I find reading so integral when it comes to art. It opens up the worlds inside of you. I was a toxic person to the ace. I know that now. Just like the article that was the catalyst for my previous blog post […].
We all have to watch how we behave and what we are saying to another. I call my dying lonely aunt every week. We like to perceive toxic people to be monsters — trying to tear us down and make our lives wretched at all costs.
And every other human being on the […]. So this is my call to all of us — to wake up to the reality that we are all toxic at some point. Read Quotes from Heidi.
This calls me out so much. Thank you for sharing! Mom, Writer, Geek, Superwoman. Some of the best Thought Catalog Articles!