Friends vs. More Than Friends
Would You Date Someone Your Friends Hated?
13 Mar I'm currently in it right now. I have two friends who are dating guys I really, really don't like, and it's made our friendship very stressful for me. Actually, I'll be frank – it's basically ruined our friendship. Here are 15 things you'll only understand if you hate your best friend's boyfriend also. Virtual hugs, girls. When a close friend is dating someone you don't like, what do you do? The answer is easy: you step in and do whatever it takes to break them up. Next question? Okay, we know that answer won't win the million-dollar prize. The truth is, when it comes to dating and relating, there really are very few black and white answers. 8 Dec A few years ago, I was dating someone who treated me pretty poorly. When my best friend John told me as much, I didn't take it well. I cut him off for the next six months of my spiraling, toxic relationship. After the girl and I broke up, I slept and cried for a week, then texted John to reignite our friendship over.
How to Deal When Your Best Friend is Dating Someone You Hate
One of life's unfortunate dilemmas arises when someone you love, your best friend even, is dating a complete and utter douche. How do you handle this? How do you protect your friend by helping her see the truth about her soul-sucking mate, without making her defensive and more entangled with the douche?
What is a douche, exactly? Well every douche, of course, is a douche in his or her special way, but there are many recognizable traits of this species. A douche loves his power over you, more than loving you.
A douche will leave you stranded on your birthday, flirt with people in front of you, doesn't want to be in a relationship but doesn't want you to move on, puts you down in public, abandons you when you need him most, and feeds off your heart. He will exploit your weakness of loving him, and because you keep coming back for more, he never has to change. Now, a douche is different than a jerk.
In a relationship, everyone can be a jerk. No coupling is perfect. But a relationship with a douche is a scenario far more toxic than the expected drama of normal coupling. Like the act of douching, a douche is someone who creates more bacteria, irritation, inflammation, and infection than it's worth.
One big challenge in this situation is accepting that your friend is not an innocent in this equation. She is allowing herself to be undervalued, and here is where the paradox lies: In a healthy relationship, the power dynamic shifts back and forth between vulnerable and dominant. But when dating a douche, you often feel manipulated, which can render you weak and creates a self-destructive pattern.
You have to face the fact: The tricky part of your friend's douche-dating is finding a strategy to encourage him or her to accept reality without being too pushy. If you come off as overly judgmental, you might lose her forever to the tentacles of her demon lover. Though this person is your best friend, he or she still has an ego to contend with, and no one wants to be seen as emotionally anemic.
Despite being accustomed to sharing things so intimate it would make that fly on the wall blush, you can't just declare how you think her mate sucks. When you tell someone how to feel, click here often feel criticized. If your friend asks for your opinion, you have to be as gentle as a proctologist when revealing your views.
5 SIGNS YOUR BEST GUY FRIEND HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!
Of course it is important to be honest, but you are not dealing with a rational person. It is wise to hold in any irrevocable bashing of her beloved like a fart in an elevator. You can't take it back once you let it out. The best tactic is to repeat the insanity she tells you with a sincere non-ironic tone.
This way, she can hear the lunacy for herself without having to taste your disapproval. Chances are, your friend is going to complain about the douche-bag nonstop, which of course gets tiresome.
15 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Hate Your Best Friend’s Boyfriend
You have to remember, your friend is taking crazy pills, and you will have the same conversation over and over and over again, making you reflect on the definition of insanity while staring at the ceiling with your mouth open. They need you to listen to them, because eventually they will begin to bore themselves.
Although the toxicity of your friend's relationship may be as obvious to you as fake tits, it will take time for her to feel it out for herself. source
My BF is female. Who hasn't heard their friends say "Do you think this is going to go anywhere", "Well if you're happy then I'm happy", or the ever popular "I just think you can do better than him"? I will grow from before, and flourish in the future.
It is important to remain as her source even though you want to shake her like a British nanny would. You have to trust that she will return to her senses and realize that the relationship is depleting her life force. And if you find yourself about to implode from the chaotic craziness of it all, remember that you too were probably once seduced by a douche.
So to go off Dr. When your friends stop coming around. He will exploit your weakness of loving him, and because you keep coming back for more, he never has to change. I learned that medication is okay and that the chemical imbalance in my brain isn't me. This guy just really rubs me the wrong way.
This post originally appeared on AlterNet. Toni Nagy is a freelance writer living in Vermont. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Follow Toni Nagy on Twitter: Go to mobile site.