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Dating Advice For People With Asperger Syndrome

10 things to know before you take the female Aspie out

30 Jul They may be awkward, but they still want love. Expert Dr. Amy Marsh gives dating tips for those with Asperger's Syndrome. I'm NT myself, and have met a great girl who told me she had aspergers. Finding tips on dating women with aspergers is seemingly impossible. . us mentioned it again that I'm not sure how comfertable she is talking about it, or if she would be offended that I'm here seeking advice or reading up about it. 26 Nov You may be discouraged and frustrated with dating. Here are some dating tips for Aspergers women to help you increase your confidence.

Why dating people with asperger is a good idea

Pop culture stereotypes of "absent-minded professors,""geeks," and "nerds" are familiar link to most of us, conjuring images of rather odd and laughable eccentrics.

Shows like "The Big Bang Theory" and "Silicon Valley" glamorize these nerds by showing them to not only make big bucks, but actually get the girl even if she's a nerdy girl too.

People with Asperger's traits have been accused of not having feelings or being unable to express emotion, like the "Star Trek" characters, Mr.

This is a mistaken concept.

Dating A Woman With Aspergers Advice

However, people with AS may express emotion or feelings of closeness in a way that is not generally expected. And so this expression may be misunderstood, misinterpreted, or even ignored by their partners and friends — particularly if the expression lacks the embroideries of "sentiment.

I know it can be really hard and baffling for both parties to understand the other, and I am glad you are working together to develop the skills to meet in or near the middle! I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic. We were both diagnosed a few years ago in our 40s and it was like a light went on. We use this field to detect spam bots. Having a clear conversation is easy for many autistic people, and you'll get a clear sense of what your partner likes.

For AS people, sharing a beloved special interest, with all its minutiae, may be a most intimate act. After monitoring exchanges on internet Asperger groups, and looking at the results of two surveys I conducted as a student, it is clear that many adults with Asperger Syndrome desire friendship, sex and lasting relationships.

However they often do not receive necessary information and help with dating and intimacy skills. The average or neurotypical partners also need to learn coping and communication skills to understand their AS partners. They also may need emotional reassurance as they struggle to understand their partner's signals of commitment and caring.


There is some indication that for some Aspies, long term relationships and people in their lives can be like features in the landscape, valued and relied upon for continuity and familiarity. That these features may need periodic or frequent emotional care and feeding may not occur to them.

Dating A Woman With Aspergers Advice

Some people with AS need explicit communication about when, where, and how to offer partner and relationship nurturing. Books and blogs on sex and relationships, written by people with Asperger's Syndrome, are only recently published and read. Dating A Woman With Aspergers Advice the work I have done with people who present with significant Asperger's traits, or who have a diagnosis, I generally need to convey information about sexuality and relationships in an organized, sequential manner within a context — or even a script!

This requires me to challenge my own assumptions about how relationships "should" be conducted. Many relationship elements that I assume are essential are not necessarily relevant to my clients.

And everyone is different. We could include all kinds of useful information, taking the sting of surprise from some issues and opening opportunities for communication that would otherwise have been closed. This might leave us free to construct meaningful frameworks for continue reading which serve us best.

If she says no to an outing, or a date, be respectful of that. Not all of these tips may apply to your partner. To find out what works for them, just ask. I am an introverted NT male married to an Aspie female. I don't know if this is an autism thing but like many ASD men and women the following terms I have been seeing in this thread are not ones I relate to:

This may not sound very romantic to the average person, but it's a sensible approach that just might work. More Dating Tips on YourTango: Heartbreak July 30, His brain is sexy — trust us.

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