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A two year relationship without hearing a single 'I love you' is a serious issue in my opinion, regardless of the genders of any of the participants. . broke up a couple months later, I wasn't too surprised, but I was amused when he got into his next relationship and was married and with a kid in under 2 years!. 2 Aug If you have to ask someone else, when someone you've been dating for nearly a year or LONGER is going to verbalize love for you, he isn't going to say it. He may hold you in high regard, he may care for you, he may have plenty of affectionate feelings for you, but does he “love” you? No. If a man cannot. That he doesn't know.. after 2 years.. don't you think that's not normal?". I waited to get to the car to cry and let it out.. he had no clue why I was so upset.. at all. When we first started dating he said 'I'll give you all the love and affect you deserve you are the most beautiful, wonderful girl I've ever met.. best thing to come.
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So I have a partner, lets call them Alex. We have been together for 2 years. I said "I love you" for the first time over a year ago. If this is a problem i.
The problem is, Alex has never said more than "I like you" although acts as though they care about me. Alex has explicitly stated source the past that they don't wish to talk in terms of the future once, awhile ago although I first met Alex's parents over a year ago.
Alex has also been stressed a lot lately, so I assumed that the stressors were a more immediate concern, and that once that quietened down Alex might come around to using the "L word". Alex has never been very affectionate vocally, although is affectionate otherwise physically, as well as doing things like going out of their way to help me. Although concern has been shown in the past, recently Alex has decided that it's probably better that my parents are not so open to meeting my partner.
It may also be important to mention that the last ex of Alex's was a nasty Dating For 2 Years No I Love You of work, and I think that might be why Alex is not very vocally affectionate now. Although I'm not sure Alex is consciously aware of it, if it is the case.
In general, there is little to complain about in my relationship. I would like to know if a future together is even a possibility or if this will always be one of those "just having fun for now" things. Am I over reacting? Should I just give it more time? If I do bring the conversation up, what would be the best time?
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A two year relationship without hearing a single 'I love you' is a serious issue in my opinion, regardless of the genders of any of the participants.
I would open up lines of communication with my partner on this issue and see how it goes. Counseling might also be somewhere to go from there.
Because chances are there's someone else out there who's a better match for them than you are, too. Gay couples have terrible intimacy issues and all kinds of masculinity ideals that really screw with how a good relationship should function. I do worry about being too communicative, as that has been and issue in the past with other peopleand a lot of the stuff I don't communicate about are because they here make enough sense in my head to verbalize it.
Bedlam Registered User regular. Two years seems like a long time for just having fun. Have you tried talking to Alex directly about your feelings? Sentry Registered User regular. Yeah, this is one of those things that needs a conversation.
Two years seems like plenty of time to know. Alex has explicitly stated in the past that they don't wish to talk in terms of the future once, awhile ago although I first met Alex's parents over a year ago. I am with my boyfriend for officially a year 1 and 4 months since we started dating.
There are red flags here which may have an explanation or may not be a big deal, but unless you talk it out you'll never know. Being together for two years but never talking in terms of the future seems like a bigger deal to me then not using the L word, but honestly those two issues are probably pretty related.
When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob? As long as he is effectionate otherwise I wouldn't worry about it. Fonjo Registered User regular. I don't know, angry-muffin. I was in a relationship for the better part of a year, and while we communicated pretty regularly, and saw a lot of each other, I never said "I love you" I was fond of her, sure, and I really enjoyed spending time together in a more than "just having fun" way, but I never really crossed any threshold into what I would describe as actual love.
If the answer to the former is yes, that is difficult, but something you may be able to move past by some open communication. Some communication with Alex is absolutely necessary, but it really needs to be augmented with some examination about what is important to you, going forward.
Twitter Facebook Tumblr Last. There is no time frame. I'll admit that I personally believe 2 years is a long time for that to never even be a thing. They seem like they don't really care enough about the relationship. Voice your opinion to them, though. If they're reasonable they should explain why.
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If they avoid it or attack you, then, by all means, make a decision from there. Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular.
Are you a gay couple? Gay couples have terrible intimacy issues and all kinds of masculinity ideals that really screw with how a good relationship should function. Did you ever ask your partner if he loves you? If he does but doesn't say it often then that is one thing. If he avoids it all together, it is a symptom of something far more complicated. Usagi Nah Registered User regular.
January edited January Well, it becomes a legitimate issue whenever it starts to bother one of the people in the relationship, there is no set timeframe for when certain relationship milestones have to be achieved. So I'll echo everything that naporeon said, and then add that it's important that both you and Alex want the same thing out of the relationship.
If You're Not Saying 'I Love You' After Six Months, Move On | HuffPost
So sit down click here have a talk with Alex, outline what you've been feeling, ask where they'd like the relationship to go, and then measure that against your expectations and needs.
Usagi on January Why not just ask them if they love you? Two years seems like plenty of time to know. EggyToast Registered User regular. If there is something about your relationship that makes it socially unacceptable to some people, regardless of what that circumstance is, then that changes things. It doesn't matter what the something is -- you could be dating someone of the same gender while living in Missouri, or someone of a different skin color in Alabama, or whatever.
Maybe one of you is from an orthodox religious family and your relationship is somewhat frowned upon.
Whatever the reason, if there is a reason, then that explains somewhat why this person feels that they can't plan strongly for the future, don't want to be all "i love you" all the time, or whatever. It warrants discussion, but don't be surprised if that sort of stuff comes up.
If you are in an otherwise normal relationship, as in you and your partner are dating and your parents and friends are all cool with it and you're cool with it, then this does raise red flags. As an anecdote, I've known a few people who do the "I don't want to make any big decisions" with their partner and the relationship goes on for years and suddenly they break up and they're much happier.
I have one friend who dated a girl from, like, age 19 to age She moved to his college, but for years they lived in separate apartments, even across multiple moves each. Eventually, he bought a house entirely in his name and she moved in, and a year later they broke up. He said he just didn't "feel like he Dating For 2 Years No I Love You into it. He said she wanted kids pretty badly and he wasn't sure that's what he wanted, and Dating For 2 Years No I Love You sure what was next in the relationship.
When they broke up a couple months later, I wasn't too surprised, but I was amused when he got into his next relationship and was married and with a kid in under 2 years! In both situations, one person liked the relationship, thought it was enjoyable, but wasn't really into it. They didn't really want to change things and they enjoyed spending time with their partner, but after some years they realized that they simply didn't love the other person.
For some people, it takes a long time to realize what "love" feels like, and that's not wrong. For others, they realize quickly, but it may not be as strong. There's an entire spectrum of how people feel and how they express themselves, and it's not always "the L word.
Dude has crazy eyebrows. Just because they didn't say "love" didn't mean they didn't love each other, though -- they just didn't vocalize it, or thought that the I Know Were Not Dating Quotes was a big deal.
That doesn't mean that you're supposed to just sit there and take it. If you're feeling like chopped liver because your partner expresses their feelings for you in a shitty way, it's in your right to bring it up and, if nothing happens, you're free to move on and seek a partner that fulfills your needs. Zombie Nirvana Registered User regular. I suspect this relationship isn't going anywhere. If you're having fun and don't want anything else, stick around.
If not, what are you doing? I also agree with FCC up above. So I'll leave it at that. Zombie Nirvana on January Seol Registered User regular. This needs open conversation, but