How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend (The RIGHT Way)
How to Break Up With Somebody Without Breaking Their Heart
27 Apr You've recognized the signs, abandoned hope of resuscitation, and come to a decision: It's time to end your relationship. But before devastating your girlfriend's heart with a direct hit from the breakup bomb, consider the alternative. With adequate preparation and tact, you can let her down gently, thereby. 15 May When you've decided to break up with someone, it can feel like the hardest thing in the world, but then you have to actually figure out how to break up with them. And that can be even tougher. "There is an art to breaking up with someone," Audrey Hope, a celebrity relationship expert, tells Bustle. "If you do. 27 Dec You and this guy have been on, like, four dates. It's not enough to merit a whole sit-down breakup deal, but you can't really just casually stop talking to him, either. Basically, at this point, you owe him something a little less than a real bonafid.
How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend (The RIGHT Way)
A friend of mine has a go-to strategy for breaking up with someone who's not a bad person, just not the person for her: On the day she's calling it quits with a man, she spends hours in the kitchen whipping up the treats he loves the most.
While her approach may literally offer the spoonful of sugar that makes the bitter pill of a breakup easier to swallow, it's not always practical--or desirable--to show up with a platter of the scratch-made macaroons that his mama always made to show she loved him, just as you're breaking the news of how much you don't. Even though calling things off with a decent person who hasn't done you wrong can be exponentially harder than the dramatic dumping of a dirty rotten scoundrel, there are things you can do to ease the blow and make things a little less painful--for both of you.
First, remember that a nice man who has treated you well deserves and has earned your respect and consideration, which is why you must offer him the courtesy of a face-to-face. No fair taking the coward's way out with e-mail, texts, social media, or even a phone call. You're the one who's going to break his heart or at least wound his egoso step up and offer him the courtesy and common decency of doing it in person. Give him a "signal" of what's coming with the universal indicator that the ax is about to fall: And do not punk out, as one friend of mine tried to do, How To Break Up With A Guy Gently staging the event in a public place to avoid a scene.
How to Break Up With a Really Nice Guy | HuffPost
If you have any reason at all to believe he may turn violent, then absolutely stay in a public place. Just as you would want to be somewhere safe and private for the emotional meltdown that can follow an unanticipated dumping, give him the courtesy of dropping the hammer somewhere private and comfortable. It's a cheap trick to break up in a crowd or somewhere like a parking lot as my friend proposed doingand offers no solace or privacy to the dumpee.
This place should not be your home, car, workplace, or any other location where you have to stay and are counting on him to leave.
As you'll see below, a strategic exit is key in this sort of breakup. Whatever the real reason, candycoat it.
Break Up With Her Gently
Nothing is to be gained by pointing fingers at this stage, and any specifics you offer only give him fodder to promise to change if only you'll give things another chance. Finish it up gently, but definitively: Putting it on him--"You're not happy" or "You deserve more" etc. That only gives him the opportunity to convince you it's okay with him, and there's no need to break up over it.
Give your phone to a friend if you must. Be careful not to gossip or badmouth him or her. He makes me feel special, goes out of his way for me, doesn't keep me guessing about whether I'll hear from him, gives me his full attention. Giving an honest and complete reason feedback is often a thankless task. Sleep with him when he wants, clear my schedule for him, revolve my life around a….
Anything open-ended or hopeful--"We'll talk more later," or "I still want you in my life," etc. If you have to chop off a leg, it's kinder to cut than saw. Say your piece keep it relatively brief--literally like five minutesand be sure to hear him out if he has things to say remember he deserves that respectbut when it starts to go in circles or things get too heated or he's begging you to reconsider, it's time to go.
Kindly tell him that this is exactly the reason you made this hard decision--because the differences in what you want mean you are constantly hurting someone you care about--and that it's best if you leave now. It's hard to do that without adding something mitigating "But I'll call you," "But we can talk later," "But I do love you," etc. It's kinder than dragging things out or offering any false hope.
If you're at his place and things aren't too horrific, take time to quickly gather your things. It's so much easier to break off clean rather than having to rip off the scab before it's had a chance to heal by coming back for them later. DO NOT answer when he calls and have lengthy discussions about the breakup or your relationship or how he's coping.
Give your phone to a friend if you must. These rules also apply to texting and email and Facebook posts and tweets and Instagrams and the day you see his profile back up on the online dating site where you met. None of that, now.
Sever the limb cleanly. It seems awful at first, but it's the kindest and most humane way. These types of breakup are the worst. You will feel like dirt. Call a friend afterward and have some wine and calm down, and I promise, within a few days that awful feeling will lessen and you'll begin to feel relieved to have ended a relationship you knew wasn't going anywhere--and to have done it as kindly and respectfully as a nice guy deserves.
Telling him any specifics about what's wrong with him. For the sake of both persons involved, breaking up is kinder in the long run than pretending you're still invested in something that you've long been over. At the least, tell him you need to talk and try to do it so that you can both be part of a live, active conversation. More From Dating Advice.
You can find her at www. You can also find her on TwitterFacebookand Instagram. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. How to Stage It First, remember that a nice man who has treated you well deserves and has earned your respect and consideration, which is why you must offer him the courtesy of a face-to-face.
What to Say "You are a wonderful guy and there's so much about dating you that I enjoy. Telling him any specifics about what's wrong with him.
How to Exit Stage Left Say your piece keep it relatively brief--literally like five minutesand be sure to hear him out if he has things to say remember he deserves that respectbut when it starts to go in circles or things get too heated or he's begging you to reconsider, it's time to go. Follow Phoebe Fox on Twitter: Author of the Breakup Doctor series from Henery Press, and close observer of relationships in the wild. Dating Love Romance Relationships Breakups.
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