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Are You Making Love or Just Having Sex? Read This and Decide : Conscious Life News

28 Apr Sometimes, it is vanilla. Sometimes, it is kinky. Sometimes, it is quick. Sometimes, it is slow and prolonged. But, the most important distinction is between when it is having sex — let's call it what it really is, aka, fucking — vs making love. Those are not mere words, but different ways of connecting sexually. 29 Apr What is the difference between fucking, sex, and making love? We all have our own interpretations of it – I'm sure even after I give my opinion on the topic, you will have an opposing one. To me, sex is more than just about penetration. Sometimes it doesn't even have to involve it. What matters most to me is. 23 Feb I was curious on what is going on with men and whether they know the difference between fucking and making love. So I decided to have a set of 10 questions to ask many different males—different races, ages, single, married—to see what they had to say. Before we start, we need some distinction between.

Unfortunately, this common use or misuse can mask The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love important distinction between these two activities. This is not to proclaim the moralor prudential, superiority of making love. Indeed some would prefer to just have sex. Of course, making love as distinct from being in love necessarily involves having sex. But having sex, even great sex, is not necessarily making love—just as a nice cool beer is not a glass of wine.

Truly, some may prefer the taste of the one to the other, and a beer may be the drink of choice on a given occasion say, at a Knicks game ; but it would indeed be unfortunate if one ordered a glass of Merlot in an intimate setting and was served a Budd. So are you making love or just having sex? Are you getting what you really want? And if not, how can you get it?

The first of these three questions can be answered only if one knows the difference between having sex versus making love. But this, in turn, requires pinning down the meanings http://24dating.me/g/speed-dating-near-west-chester-pa.php each.

According to philosopher Alan Goldman, sexual desire is desire for contact with another person's body and for the pleasure which such contact produces; sexual The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love is activity which tends to fulfill such desire of the agent. Goldman claims that sexual activity is not necessarily a means to any further end.

For example, procreation is not the essential purpose of having sex; so you are not doing anything wrong that is, misusing your body if you are having sex without trying to get pregnant. Rubbing, touching, caressing, kissing, sucking, biting, and, of course, intercourse, as fulfillments of a desire for physical contact, are all sexual activities in this sense. Per se, they are self-regarding. They seek self-gratification—fulfillment of a purely self-interested desire.

However, for Kant, it is in the transformation from self-regarding to other -regarding sexual activity that sex partners begin to see each other as persons rather than as mere objects or things.

The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love

But while this mutual sexual agreement whether inside or outside the context of marriage may be a precursor to love-making, the latter takes more than mutual consent to let each other satisfy a sexual desire. Instead, in love-making there is the mutual consciousness of unbounded unity without partition. The titillations of mine are yours also, and conversely. My past, present, and future; my hopes, dreamsand expectation; and yours, coalesce as one--not two--persons.

There is resignation of separateness to inclusion of the other. It is an ecstatic resonance that defies any breach in Oneness. It takes two to Tango, and so too does it take here least two to make love. Unreciprocated love-making is unsuccessful love-making. The flames of love-making are The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love to die when one gives oneself, body and soul, only to be turned away.

Where the other seeks only a body, wanting only sex, love-making is squandered even if it is not at least at first apparent to the one attempting to make love. It is a counterfeit if based on pretense because there is duality, not unity, and there is manipulation and objectification, not authentic, mutual respect.

Here there is a sort of delicate, momentary analysis and deliberate targeting of a body part. But instantaneously each becomes Thou again with co-mingling of not just body but soul.

Are You Making Love or Just Having Sex?

In making love, there is thus a virtually seamless reciprocity between I-It and I-Thou. There is also powerful symbolism in love-making as depicted. Foreplay gradually builds to climax as in the unfolding of a life of two living as one. As such, making love is inspirational, for it signifies and embodies two mutually living as one.

However, the mutuality of love-making as depicted here guards again domination, for the goal is not to control the other but instead to lose oneself in the other as the other in oneself. This has implications for the cognitiveperceptual, and symbolic aspects of love-making. When one merely has sex, one perceives the other as an object of pleasure, as Kant describes. In mere more info activity one may seek to dominate, The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love, and even humiliate in order to elicit sexual pleasure.

But, love-making is unifying whereas these cognitions are relational and assume logically distinct beings. In contrast, the language of love-making involves thoughts and perceptions that unite rather than separate, divide, or alienate.

They can reflect tenderness; an adoring or adorable look; or the instant when you knew you wanted to be together for an eternity. They can be ineffable and unspoken; simply expressed; or set into poetic verse.

In contrast, compare the dis-unifying, objectifying nature of the four-letter language of just having sex. Adapting a metaphor gleaned from the neo-Platonist philosopher Plotinus, the unity experienced in love-making may be compared to an axiomatic system. Each axiom is essential to the system and cannot be understood apart from it; but the system itself is over and above and distinct from any of its axioms.

Similarly, the unity of love-making is not possible without the two lovers, but it is over and above and distinct from them.

what is the difference between sex and making love?

So, in this sense, there is still distinctness in unity. But it is the Oneness of love-making that itself admits of no division. Accordingly, it is essentially this unifying aspect of the activity of love-making that largely distinguishes it from mere sex. Surrender yourself to the other; sensually coalesce; and trust that the other reciprocates. For, like religious experience, love-making has an element of faith.

If you attempt to have sex without such faith, then you will only have sex. So, do you have to be in l ove in order to make love? To get a handle on an answer to this question you might consider click to see more I have had to say in my blog on How good are you at making love?

In any event, my considered judgment is that it can help to be in love. For I suspect that many people make love well before if ever they are actually in love. Given its powerful symbolism, building a loving sexual relationship, The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love here described, may even pave the way to a more loving relationship beyond the bedroom.

The taste of wine is what you may crave. But sometimes one may also want a tall, cold one.

Instead, in love-making there is the mutual consciousness of unbounded unity without partition. May 22, at 8: Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. It matters very little in the long run and you do it just for the sake of a happy ending.

I have observed in my own marriage that --in our very busy lives with busy jobs, small children and aging parents-- our activity follows a tiered structure some similar to Maslow's hierarchy.

We generally require that we are fulfilled at each level before moving up to the next.

The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love

Maintenance Activity - Meet our basic, physical needs, often wham-bam-transactional type activity Making Love - More relaxed, requires more time. This is when we connect and whisper sweet nothings and look into each others' eyes. We try to make time for this, but sometimes it's weeks between encounters.

But we both know how important they are. The 'Adventurous' Stuff - our favorite, and only takes click when we have time AND when we're fulfilled at the The Difference Between Fucking And Making Love two levels.

In this activity, we live out some fantasies, and cater to other psychological, emotional and physical appetites. Doing these things --opening ourselves up, making ourselves vulnerable, and fulfilling often hard-to-explain shades-type desires-- gives us a level of intimacy even beyond the 'Making Love,' level, although we certainly wouldn't give that up for anything, either. Before kids we used to this much more frequently. Now it's a couple times a year at best. I, personally, do miss that stuff, as does my wife.

But time, money and responsibilities conspire against us. We need to stop perpetuating this stupid romantic idea that there is a distinction between sex and "making love".

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Certainly, having sex with someone you are in love with feels different than sex with anyone else but it is still just sex. It has been my experience that many people that believe they have been in love have only felt a state that mimics love: I see very few people that have intimacy in their relationship To make a relationship truly transcendental you have to have intimacy, and without it you are just simply having sex, using each other's body for pleasure.

When you have the commitment, the sexual chemistry and the intimacy, that my friend, Is a winning combo that few experience. We have true intimacy. It is beautiful and all encompassing. With luck it will last until the grim reaper arrives That said, you are also living in a fairy tale. I'll bet you believe in soul mates and unicorns too.

May 23, at 6: From what I've seen here in the US, it's all about scoring. You can have the first without the second, but making love lifts every sensation and experience to its ultimate pleasure. May 23, at 4: Are we both feeling the same way?

You always being a widowhood is only for the old. Look at the young widows who try to keep searching the eternal commitmet to a spouse who covenant with other spouse like a temple. Sometimes it feels incomplete when one spouse marries but he or she does not want covenant to the other spouse. That is why we Americans have fake marriages by government not covenant marriages by God. You're a Mormon and maybe a polygamist too aren't you.

Following a book full of nonsense "translated" by a guy who conveniently used a "stone" which was conveniently not in his possession at the time of "translation", and conveniently LATER was told by "God" it was okay to be married to many women eternally as you are suggesting. I hope you're young else you are wasting a life-time of opportunity. Do you ever wonder if there is "more"?

Yes there is - l earn the difference between sex and love-making and you will know how much more. Our love and intimacy is the subject of our writing click my name and we are so lucky that, even at 63 me and 66 we still have a wonderful intimacy, making love more than twice in the average week and occasionally even more often.

I was even asked by my daughter in law if it was true we made love up to ten times per month. Her experiences were down to once or twice. I suppose we have an undying love for each other and make the time to set aside special periods to experience each other. When you are retired you can do that more easily than as a business people or busy family people. The difference between having sex and making love is huge.