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The other responses here crack me up. My experience with dating websites was totally different than what I'm reading in other responses. I did have a photo of myself in my ad — just one, and only a simple head and shoulders shot that I had taken myself, while sitting on a chair. I am no. 26 Aug Can he compose a message with complete sentences and correct grammar? Do the answers to his questions (I was on OkC) indicate any incompatibilities I'm not willing to compromise on? Do I like his profile? Generally, though, everyone would get a reply, even if it was just "Thank you, but I'm not. 13 Sep But I am a guy who is fond of online dating sites, so I have a few tips that might help you when using them. .. It falls to the men on these sites to begin to avoid the women [and similar women] who do not reply to them after one message attempt - go find someone else, someone perhaps who has taken the.

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I'm NOT talking about any kind of insult or genuine disrespect, which will just make me laugh at you. I had used dating sites for yeeaaars with no success. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity.

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Online Dating is Frustrating for Men

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Well, let's find out how many messages the average man will have to send to a woman his own age in order to guarantee various levels of response, and vice versa. He answered me, "Go find yourself another man to jump through hoops for you. I love looking at people's pages and reading their descriptions and seeing what guys my age are doing with their lives. I'm attracted to a very specific typing style I can't necessarily describe it but it's how the person presents themselves and will usually reply based on how they formulated their response.

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We have flair for men, women, trans folks, and gender neutral people. Whether you are a woman or a man, please do not speak for all women. While men can still offer input, if your view conflicts with a woman's, we ask that you do not downvote or invalidate her response. Women who use dating sites, what determines if you reply to a message on a dating site? This has been asked here before but I have follow-up questions and I don't think anybody except the person I'm replying to will ever see it, so I'm submitting a new thread.

When He's Not Investing In You, Avoid THIS MISTAKE (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

I don't use dating sites and never have. I'm just curious what goes through your minds when you decide if you'll respond or not. Generally, though, everyone would get a reply, even if it was just "Thank you, but I'm not interested.

I only do the "Thanks, but I'm not interested" to those messages that look like they put some effort into them. Ones that are just "hey" or "how's it going" or "nice pics" don't get a reply. I've found doing that I don't get nearly as many negative replies back. Because you're selfish and not giving this guy that actually cares about you a worthwhile chance.

Its kinda sad we're so used to it that we couldn't see the sarcasm right away. I've had this sent to me in different wordage multiple times.

Sometimes I reply back to get them to feel bad and defend myself but I learned it wasn't worth it in the end. The scary thing is sonme guys would honestly believe in what they were saying if they replied with that.

That's the only way to approach it, no point being disheartened by those peopleit annoys me that some will stop using these sites because of that. Way to ruin it for the rest of us. I hate that you've been asshole'd into not replying. The silent rejection is the worst part of online dating.

At least if I'm rejected to my face, I'm acknowledged as a human being. Online I just feel like nobody. The one time I got a rejection messageI was so thrilled that I sent a reply thanking her profusely for actually bothering to reject me.

I still wonder if she took that as sarcasm or found me intensely creepy or something.

Why Do I Get No Responses On Hookup Sites

There isn't anything shitty about not replying. You don't owe anyone a response. I don't understand the identity crisis that comes with not receiving a response. It's just demoralising to find someone you like, take the time to read their profile and construct a thoughtful opener, only to have then completely ignore you. No one owes you a reply.

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But it can get quite depressing to constantly put yourself out there when silence is the expected response. I have had fairly good success in my age bracket over 65 on OKC both in replies and with women writing to me first. But I took the time to have Why Do I Get No Responses On Hookup Sites great photos taken, and spent a lot of time carefully writing a totally honest, quirky, self introduction.

Then answered a ton o questions putting some thought into each one, AND commenting on my answers when the questions were absurd or offered poor choices. This is appropriate to number three above where women want to lok at who is writing: Do you have an interesting and attractive profile for her refer back to before answering. If your messages just drop outta sight without a ripple - look at what your fishing lure looks like.

I find it strange that a dichotomy seems to exist in the minds of many people on this issue. One one hand you have the feelings of those who don't want to politely reject overtures because they fear potential discomfort caused by hostile counter-rejections.

Why Do I Get No Responses On Hookup Sites

Those feelings seem to be generally validated and respected. On the other hand you have the feelings of those who don't want to make or are merely discouraged about making polite overtures due to potential discomfort caused by silent rejection.

Those feelings seem to be generally are explained away or refuted. I am sensitive to the desire to not want to be discomforted but I also feel like the mindset that dating should be a comfortable process is 'wrong'. If someone doesn't go into it expecting and prepared to to have a miserable failure or fifty-seven then I don't think they're doing it right regardless of their gender or preferences.

I can't tell you to just get over it because it's never that simple if you feel the way you describe. All I can really say is that, and I hope you can integrate this into your way of thinking, you don't learn more here the person you are attempting to contact.

Not in the slightest. The emotional investment should be minimal because you have no clue what that person is like beyond a few pictures and the content and tone of their profile. It's incredibly limited information. Hell, even if you start going back and forth with them, half the time their online personality will rarely match how they interact in person.

If you can learn to appreciate this, messaging is a total breeze. Well here's the thing; even though you don't get emotionally invested in the person themself, it's hard not to invest in the idea of hitting it off with someone.

No matter how hard you try not to put any emotion into it, you can't but help to hope a little. When that little sliver of hope is completely ignored over and over and over again, dozens of times, it just sort of shrivels up and dies and you sour on the idea of online dating.

That's really why so many guys turn to the spam method. Although that just encourages the girls to respond less often. It's all just a nasty feedback loop. Really the best thing for a guy to do is find a happy middle ground. Spend enough time on profiles so you can send genuine messages to people you think you'll make a genuine connection with but don't spend so much time that you become invested in a response.

Ahhh, that sounds like the whole "putting on a pedestal" prospect people talk about. You're idealizing a relationship that hasn't even come close to taking root yet.

I have no good answer other than you just Take things as they come. If you think your singleness is just as dope as being in these awesome relationships, you don't need to worry about what might be.

I personally don't really get depressed over it because I'm of the opinion I only need to succeed once. But it is discouraging. I feel like I'm wasting my time and would either be more productive working or happier playing some video games, so I do those instead. I have self-esteem issues too.

I don't get attached enough for anything online to get me down, but when the standard response to your conversation openers indicates that they're worthless, Why Do I Get No Responses On Hookup Sites does chip away at those insecurities.

Especially when you took the time to put effort into them. It is what it is. I lower my expectations enough not to get too dragged down by it, but I certainly sympathise with those that do. I'm recently divorced man of a marriage of ten years. So getting into online dating was really foreign to me. However, with every girl I messaged I was always polite.