10 TIPS FOR HOOK UPS!
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19 Aug Studies show that women underestimate how much people are flirting with them, while men, perhaps unsurprisingly, overestimate. People flirt for fun, for sex, for exploration, and even for transactional reasons (i.e. to get something from someone). We'll talk more about this below, but for now, all you need to. 27 Feb Never hook up with friends. Hooking up with friends automatically changes the dynamic of the friendship. Friends should stay just that: friends. And if you hook up with all your friends, who will listen to you talk about your hookups? Never hook up with more than two friends from the same social circle. 27 Mar My friend has been talking to a guy on Tinder for FOUR MONTHS and has no intention of ever meeting up with him. In fact, she just called me yesterday to say he finally asked if he could take her on a date, and she was totally repulsed. Yep, you read that correctly. Studio Firma. A guy she's been enjoying.
Ah, the joys of hooking up: OK, sometimes hooking up isn't as joyful as it is in the movies. However, as my high-school theology teacher, Mr. Dolan, said, "sex is the kind of thing where when it's good, it's amazing, but when it's bad, well, it's still pretty damn good! But as with any exploration, there is a set of basic rules that can keep you safe and off the radar of the town's gossip queen, with your reputation in intact. So whether you're new to the game of hooking up or an old pro, be sure to hook up in a way that keeps your bedroom free of any twerkers with hidden agendas and puts a smile on your face.
Never hook up with friends.
Hooking up with friends automatically changes the dynamic of the friendship. Friends should stay just that: And if you hook up with all your friends, who will listen to you talk about your hookups? Never hook up with more than two friends from the same social circle.
Doing otherwise is a fast way to ensure that you're known as "that guy. Never hook up with the neighborhood gossip queen or people who are active in the social scene. Your sex life should stay private, and it's never a good look when all of Boystown knows whom you did, how you did him and where you did it.
If you hook up with the town's gossip queen, people will know your penis size, your secret fetish, whether or not your middle toe is bigger than your big one, and how you like your coffee in the morning. Gossip is truly the lowest form of discourse, so don't be fodder for it.
One time she even picked a flower for me! I don't care if you're a bottom, a top or versatile; we're all guys. We make it easier! This may seem like three rules in one, but it's really not. Make him work for it.
People who go out a lot will spill your business over a drunken conversation. Save yourself from all the secret pointing and whispering when you walk into the club and opt for a different evening suitor. If neither of you can host, only hook up in five-star hotels. Gay bathhouses are just trashy, and you might run into a gossip queen or a popular scenester if you go, which would be breaking two hookup rules.
There's something European and slightly mysteriously sophisticated about checking into an upscale hotel and doing the deed there. And you can order room service in the morning -- on him, of course. If you can see him being your boyfriend, only hook up with him after you're in the relationship.
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Momma was so right when she said that if you give the milk away for free, no one will buy the cow. I don't care if you're a bottom, a top or versatile; we're all guys. Guys like what they can't have and are natural hunters. Make him work for it. If you truly like him, then wait until you're in a committed relationship, and the sex will be that much more special. Never hook up with guys with race-related hangups.
This rule is for all my fellow black gay men and other gay men of color.
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I'm sure you have heard it before: Does anyone really think that's a compliment? Am I supposed to jump for joy and get down and do a guy just because his backwoods prejudices say it's all right this time? I don't think so. That said, don't cause a scene, and don't try to preach to him about racial sensitivity; you wouldn't try to explain yourself to a cockroach, would you?
Kasia pronounced "Kasha" recently graduated from Villanova University where she studied Communication. Be in a relationship where you feel good when you're without him, but you feel even better with him. Gossip is truly the lowest form of discourse, so don't be fodder for it. You think you desire something serious with this particular guy—but before you do anything else, be sure.
Merely take your drink, bid him "good evening" or "good day," and hook up with someone wouldn't utter such nonsense or refer to you as "exotic" ugh! Don't hook up with stupid people. There's something really hot and engaging about an intellectual guy who can hold a conversation beyond discussing the latest Britney Spears album or Lady Gaga's newest outfit not that I don't love those topics.
He doesn't have to have a Ph. If he can't hold such a conversation with you, it's more than likely that he won't be able to hold it down in the bedroom. Save your brain cells and the yarns and move on to the next suitor.
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If he seems weird or creepy, assume that he's an axe murderer. Listen to your inner SVU detective. If a guy just seems off, don't go home with him. Be nice to everyone, even if they don't deserve it. There's no reason to be mean, poke fun or have a laugh at another guy's expense just because he wants you and you don't want him back. That is just so high school and in poor taste, and it's a good way to make enemies. Moreover, if you're mean to him, he might go around town telling everyone that he had sex with you and that you were bad in bed.
Have fun, be yourself, and be safe! This may seem like three rules in one, but it's really not. If you're being yourself, then you're having fun, and if you're having fun, then you're being yourself, hopefully.
As crazy as it sounds, hooking up is a good way to explore your sexuality and find out what you like and don't like -- with a rubber on, of course. Don't take the whole scene of hooking up too seriously, because others certainly aren't. Have a laugh, have a shot, and have a happy, safe hookup! A version of this blog post originally appeared on ChicagoPride.
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