My Ex Is Dating Someone New: Are We Done For Good?
29 Apr My ex says he loves me but he's w/someone else He says he still loves me and has very strong feelings for me and would like to have a future with me. If he needs time to think things through, but can't even pay you the respect of not dating someone else, it doesn't seem likely that he truly values you. OK my ex boyfriend (we were together for 10 years) all of a sudden broke up with me telling me he's struggling and needs to be alone. Well we broke up but he still told me everyday that he loved me and missed me. He was sorry for hurting me and that he loves me more that I know. My ex basically keeps me on a leash – he's not my boyfriend but he contacts me every day and knowing that I love him, it's hard not to resist. The guy I am dating now doesn't know of this situation and my ex also doesn't know that I am dating someone else. It's hard for me to make a decision on who I should commit to. My ex.
I have a bit of a situation right now. My college sweetheart whom I have dated for the past 5 years decided to move out of town.
It has now been a year and a half, and during that time, I have been dating this new guy who I really like. Can you help shine a light in my love life? Your ex knows it and loves it and exploits it mercilessly. His action — breaking up with you — should have spoken volumes about how he felt about you, but, apparently, it did not.
How nice for you. And your action — allowing your selfish ex to continue this charade, and committing emotional adultery on your current boyfriend — says a lot about how you feel.
You already know this and you called attention to it in your email. So where does this leave you, A? With a pretty clear path, if you want to know the truth. Talk to your ex-boyfriend every day. Keep your dangerous fantasies alive. Lie to your current boyfriend.
Close off the possibility for true closeness and intimacy.
Give yourself to the man who is NOT dumping you. Watch as your relationship grows with your committed efforts. Learn the meaning of true love. Most of us cling to our fantasies as long as we link because a piece of us dies when we let them go.
The only thing you lose when you cut off the ex is this: But for you to truly move on, you HAVE to tell your ex that it was nice knowing him and best of luck in the future. If he was invested, then he would do everything in his power on a daily basis to make sure that the woman he loved was happy and wanted to stay with them. The pain of giving up the fantasy is a lot eaiser than the pain of constant doubt and manipulation.
I agree with Evan also. Unless you process the end of your relationship with your ex-boyfriend as if he will never come back, it is hard for you to move on.
I know this is often hard to do. Your mind always moves faster than your heart. You already know that your ex is not the right one for click here, but your heart is still attached.
He says he can't be with you ... right now.
To properly heal and to let go for you to fully learn from your brake up and to prepare for a better relationship next time takes time. Congratulations for already taking the first step to ask for more support by asking a question from an expert! Wish you the best! Why Do Women Cheat? Pretty blunt and to the point. If you do really like the new guy, start putting all your focus and energy into him. Would like to add, to the OP: Is that good relationship material?
Your playing with fire and you are probably going to end up hurting the guy who does want you. You are playing with anothers heart. Your ex is getting all the benefits of a relationship with you, with none of the commitment. This is why a you want to make sure you maintain a healthy amount of objectivity in a relationship and b you make sure you have friends who have your best interests at heart who are not afraid to tell you what you need to hear.
That puzzled me also. I wonder how long she has been dating new guy? Look at it this way. Your ex was probably cheating on you when you were together, you just may not have known about it. He is behaving like a scum now, basically, keeping you hooked in due article source his own insecurities. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You have allowed him to treat you like crap this long, why would that change?
Do you really want a philandering husband?
My Ex Is Dating Someone Else What Should I Do?
Change your phone number and e-mail address if necessary. I actually agree with Evan here…completely.
The only person who can keep you on a leash is yourself. I believe there are deeper issues at work here that lie within your inner makeup. What is it about yourself that makes you continue to love and want to continue envisioning a supposed future with someone who broke up with you to admittedly fool around for another five years and then toy with your emotions, trying to keep you hanging on with what is likely his professed romantic garbage when he calls you daily!?
I know this all too well.
But you owe it to yourself most of all, and to the guy who you now like to stop torturing yourself over and over again. Let your ex go … no matter what he says or does, and he may say plenty. You MUST stand strong. No man who truly loves you would do these things! Let him also go in your heart. This letting go will be a grieving process that you need to experience, and honestly, I think it was a mistake to start dating someone new until the feelings with your ex were dealt with head on and that situation concluded.
Look at what has started to happen? That is a terrible way to start a relationship. Let the ex go. Give yourself time to heal. Then with a clear heart you will know what your next move should be. Stop thinking of your Ex and just think of all the good things in your present boyfriend. If you keep thinking of any good things in your Ex, you will never be able to Cut him off! Think of all the Bad that he did to you and dumped your relationship.
Just give your best to your new relation and forget the past!
I know it is hard to move on when you were with someone for so long but the best thing for you to do right now is to look out for you. Just give your best to your new relation and forget the past! I just wanted to be with him so badly. This was the very first time I have been percent at fault. This guy is not boyfriend-quality material.
No doubt because on a leash is where you feel you belong and a more info you so richly deserve. All I can say is… Amen and Amen! The advice here from EMK and everyone else is spot on. I loved what EMK said about how when our fantasies die, a part of us dies with them. But the thing is, something old always has to die in order for something new to be born. Selena and Steven, good points.
You have to wonder about this new guy, it seems as if OP is treating him the same way her ex BF has been treating her. Is that part of the appeal? You know how this feels, so please … show some integrity, do the right thing. And I think you know what the Who Guy Drugs A Dating Takes thing to do is, even My Ex Loves Me But Dating Someone Else writing to a dating expert for the answer.
You just may not want to deal with it. Like Evan and all the commenters above, I do agree that you should cut off contact with your ex. I would think that, regardless of whether your ex is contacting you, you would know whether or not you were crazy about the guy you were dating. There is nothing wrong with continuing to date him to find out, but you should also probably keep your eyes open for other men. So long as you are just in the dating stage with this other nice-sounding guy, there is nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
I had a similar situation, except I was the one who ended the relationship of 3 years. I met this great guy who liked me alot and treated me well. During this time my ex kept calling me everyday saying he loves me and wants to get back together.
He kept pursuing me and I continued to talk to him. Few months later I find myself falling for the new guy. I adored everything about him even his faults.
You know how this feels, so please … show some integrity, do the right thing. Unfortunately, it sounds more like he doesn't want to let go of you, but wants to have the freedom of seeing other people himself. Can that be a possibility? He went on to date probably 21 women in the last few years, and just 2 weeks ago, after no physical contact for 10 mos. Give yourself to the man who is NOT dumping you.
He felt the same until he found out that over a month ago my ex sent me a pic and I sent him one back. He dumped me and I am left with a broken heart. This was the very first time I have been percent at fault.
There is not a day that goes buy without regrets. I should of cut him off. If he comes back to her and she is single at that time: What about a second chance? Can that be a possibility? It is not about me.