Dealing with The Ex Wife Child Visitation and Psychological Manipulation
Why Does My Husband's Ex-Wife Hate Me? | HuffPost
25 Jan The single best tool in dealing with a spouse's hostile or jealous ex is the support of the spouse. An ex exerts far less power to cause havoc in a stepfamily if their ex spouse makes it utterly clear that their antics will not be tolerated and will not give them the results that they are seeking. Often, trouble with an. 19 Oct Janine from Santa Ana, California asks: “Why does my husband's ex-wife hate me? I've never done anything to her.” Well, Janine, you're in good company. Many other stepmoms are also perplexed by this. Here is a list of the most common reasons your husband's ex might not think too fondly of you. 1. 5 Feb If you have a high-conflict ex-wife in your life, then you are all too familiar with that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when your husband lets you know she is She is clearly jealous of what we have despite the fact she has been with someone else for over 7 years and they have recently has a child.
Stepmoms can save themselves a lot of stress and angst by understanding a few basic truths and some sound coping strategies. Who you should be receiving appreciation from is your husband. Realize that she is not you. She probably has different values than you, and our values guide most of our decisions.
Is she making decisions that put her child in immediate danger?
Will her choices assure your stepchild a life of crime? If so, then your husband needs to kick it into high gear, but if not, try to let go of your judgments. Does she seem to CC you on every nasty email to your husband? A wonderful boundary to set in regard to email is setting up a rule. Or better yet, just block her completely. Either way, it saves you from being harassed or affected by her negative words. Stepping away from her drama will leave you in a more peaceful state and better able to support your husband.
Unless Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife were intentionally nasty and cruel to her, please stop beating yourself up, wondering what you did to make her hate you. Her acceptance or lack of has nothing to do with your value as a person or a stepmom.
Let go of trying to please her and focus on what really matters— you, your marriage and your family. Would you like some extra support. Click here to see how I can help! It takes a lot of work to set them up, and often there will be drama in doing so, but once they are up things get so much easier for everyone. Boundaries allow that safety and the click here of getting along in the future more than any fake niceties ever could.
I am so drained from dealing with the ex I decided about 6 months ago to detach from the situation. And let my husband handle it.
She was never your friend. The type of childish behavior you describe is typical of controllers. Any woman who marries a man with children knows his baggage and it is always her choice whether to live with a future that includes those children of his first marriage or to choose a different man. Kimber - Sep 1:
He is so drained from her antics and making every situation difficult and exhausting. He rather avoid her all together. My husband never responds. The one time he does, she thinks it me pretending to be him. I have tried the past few months to be helpful and nice. Her issues should be with her ex husband not me. But she still wants to drag me in. I just want to be left alone and enjoy my life. I get along great with everyone including my ex husband wife.
I think she is great. I have never been called the psycho ex wife, we are actually friends. U dont need to talk to us. We want u to go. My husband is to his wits end. I have never seen him hate before like he hates her. He is rey positive but if her name gets brought up. Hi Kelly, some people are addicted to drama. Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife to your firm boundaries. She can only drag you in Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife you let her.
Great job stepping back and letting your husband handle things! This sounds just like my situation! I am so glad that Click to see more am not alone. I just made up my mind this past week to remove myself from the drama too. Many people will tell me that in time these kids will see what parents have their best interest in mind and who was the one to hurt them.
I look forward to this blog and reading about the other parents dealing with the same issues. This is a great article and I should remember these when the moment arises, however, I have come into something different, and I am not sure how to cope. We have been having to dip into our savings to make it through the month. I no longer recieve child support, as my children are older.
Dealing with a difficult ex-wife
My husband has been paying child and spousal support to his ex, his kids are younger, however, my husband, for a few reasons, has not been employed for the past 3 years, and has still been paying his very high support, his support to her is more than I bring home in a month.
He was going to have a judge revisit the situation, which would then alleviate us financially but also still paying support, then his ex Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife him to extend the court date, in order for her to get her affairs in order, as she sobed to him, and he went ahead and did this.
My husband than received a call from her lawyer!! And then he was anxious to get a job, and then he was offered the position and said that he is not going to go through with having a judge revisit the custody orders. And I am very very angry!!
Their children are in school full-time but still refused to work full-time to make more money for herself. So how do I now face her when I see her, whether at my home, her home, get togethers for their kids?
He was never married to her but they have 2 children together. He has always taken care of his kids. He even bought her a car and paid her insurance. He paid her rent and all her bills for four years and moved in with family members.
She has made it difficult for him to click his daughter, playing mind gamesnot showing up at agreed times to hand over and retrieve the child. My advise is to stop kidding yourselves. One example of the crazy and cruel behavior he puts up with is this His kids were rude at first too!
One day out of the clear blue sky she re-opened a child support case on him that had been closed for 13 years.
She said he had not given her a dime in all those years.
No lawyer can help. Their sons are now out of school and working. We have a 8 year old we can barely feed. If it were not for grandparents buying his clothes and underwear, he would not have any. I have been so hurt because I have treated her children like my own and now she does not want my son to and I to have anything now that she does not need us as babysitters anymore. There were days when I needed prescription medication for my blood pressure and could not get it because of child support payments.
I feel visit web page bad inside because I regret every good thing I ever did for her or her children. This is totally against my nature and I have no peace. I have Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife lived with regret. I have made mistakes in my life but, I have never felt regret over learning experiences. On the outside I look normal but, on the inside I am as angry as I have ever been.
I hate this feeling but the thought of her living the life she is able to live at the Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife of my husband, based on a flat out lie and, my son having to go without because of it breaks my spirit. I have no peace.
I am a good person and I feel awful about the thoughts that consume me. I am cheating my son out of the mother he deserves and my husband out of the wife he married. Can someone please help me? Pamela, you need to stop focusing on that situation and her. I would make a concerted effort to catch yourself whenever you think about the situation and shift to better thoughts.
Make a list of thoughts and visualizations that make you feel good and force yourself to think about them every time you catch yourself thinking about her. Eventually your brain will think about her less and less. Maybe think about how lucky you are as a mom or remind yourself of why you married your husband in the first place. Think about vacations you took or activities that bring you joy. Thanks Jenna this is great advice.
It has been hard for me to move forward.
Help for stepmoms and their families
I have been frozen in pain and suffering to myself, trying not to make other people feel uncomfortable. I decided to separate myself from the situation and focus on my vision board for my life, It is a real effort but you have inspired me with very good advice.
There is nothing more she can do. She has played her last card and there is an expiration card on everything in life. Dealing With A Jealous Ex Wife must move on and leave thoughts of her behind.
The aftermath of what she has done keeps us constantly getting in and out of situation after situation. I am going to think my way out of this nightmare. Pamela, the same thing happened to my husband. It is so sad the child support just takes the mothers word for it! My husband searched the Internet for the childcare providers name and requested copies of her recorders and all the checks written to her to prove what he was saying was true.
Hi, thanks for your comment. At that very moment, her youngest son was walking toward me behind her to give me the biggest link ever.
She made a grand thank you speech while my husband was parking the car paid for everything with his child support but did not mention his name at all.