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Passive Aggression - Office Problem #75

How to Spot and Deal With Passive-Aggressive People | Psychology Today

14 Aug If you've encountered the following behaviors from colleagues at work, you've dealt with passive aggressive behavior: Ignoring proper channels in the workplace to deal with issues and instead, utilizing dysfunctional methods ( gossip, spreading rumors, constant complaining); Calling out of work on the day. 23 Jan Melody Wilding, Women@Forbes I help ambitious women master their inner psychology for success. Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. Tweet This. the only thing worse than dealing with a passive-aggressive person is becoming one yourself. Consequences–when designed. 8 Dec A passive-aggressive person will rarely admit to the behavior, so in the end you may look like the crazy one. If possible, handle the situation face-to-face. Go to your coworker and firmly say, “I'm sure it wasn't your intention to leave me off that chain. Going forward, please remember to include me on all.

It might seem that passive-aggressive behavior is indicative of a dual personality, but it's not. Passive-aggression is an intentionally deceitful way to cut down someone without just coming right out and expressing your dislike for or anger with that person, who, in this case, is a co-worker.

Passive-aggressive co-workers who engage in disingenuous behavior might pay you a compliment but not be sincere about it, or they might act very kind within earshot of colleagues, see more cold and unfriendly when it's just the two of you. Identify the co-worker's behavior as passive-aggressive; however, refrain from attempting to render any type of diagnosis of someone's behavior.

How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive Coworkers | Fortune

The safest way to describe a co-worker who you believe has these tendencies is to say, "She shows tendencies of passive-aggressive behavior," instead of "She's passive-aggressive. Refrain from engaging in a back-and-forth exchange with the co-worker. It's virtually impossible to outdo a passive-aggressive person's remarks, and doing so simply puts you in the same category.

How to Spot and Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

One way to catch the passive aggressor off-base is to pretend that you believe her compliments are sincere. Don't buy into the sarcasm or anger you believe underlies the misleading compliments or smiles.

For example, when a co-worker says that you're exceptionally good at cozying up to click boss, you could say, "Thank you, I like to let others see my talents and capabilities. Suppress your frustration or your own angry feelings about a passive-aggressive co-worker. You may not be able to totally ignore your co-worker, especially if you work in close proximity; however, you can refuse to let the disingenuous remarks get under your skin.

How To Deal With Passive Aggressive Coworkers

At some point, finding clever ways to frustrate someone gets tiring when the person at whom the actions are directed simply doesn't respond. Avoid asking your supervisor or manager to intervene. You may not get the support you want, because reporting minor incidents to your supervisor will cast a negative light on your ability to resolve workplace problems using your own click. The only reason you should go to a supervisor or manager is to report behavior that crosses the line into unlawful harassment that affects your ability to do your job.

Do you work with any passive-aggressive colleagues? Your best bet is probably documenting and reporting their behavior. My roommate engages in this sort of behavior to get a rise out of me ,to punish me, to make herself feel superior. It is easyer to get done it herself than to ask someone.

If the passive-aggressive co-worker's comments and behavior don't impact your job performance, then it's probably just a character flaw you will need to overlook. Extend the olive branch to your co-worker when you feel the timing is good to engage her in a conversation. At a minimum, tell the co-worker that the two of you don't have to like each and you don't have to be friends, but that you can be respectful of each other.

If the passive-aggressive co-worker is not receptive to a truce, simply state that you will no longer tolerate passive-aggressive behavior.

How To Deal With Passive Aggressive Coworkers

Ruth Mayhew has been writing since the mids, and she has been an HR subject matter expert since Her work appears in "The Multi-Generational Workforce in the Health Care Industry," and she has been cited in numerous publications, including journals and textbooks that focus on human resources management practices. Ruth resides in the nation's capital, Washington, D. Skip to main content.

How to Deal With a Passive Aggressive Co-worker - Ask Harold Episode 8

Warning If a passive-aggressive co-worker is deliberately sabotaging your work or creating an unsafe work environment with threatening remarks or behavior, seek assistance from your HR department.

Maintain a log of comments that you believe are threatening so you can share them with an HR staffer and support a complaint filing.

Giving them a voice. Tips for Effective Storytelling at Work. We have wised up to him now and they have helped me get him out of my life.

References 4 Psychology Today: Backhanded Compliments and Angry Smiles: Tips on Managing Difficult People: About the Author Ruth Mayhew has been writing since the mids, and she has been an HR subject matter expert since Suggest an Article Correction.