If You Can't Say "YES!" To These 2 Questions, Break Up With Them NOW?
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Navigating relationships is not always easy. You start out as strangers, get to know each other and then decide if you like each other enough to stay together. But, sometimes, there are some big reasons not to stay in that relationship. Read 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage. 28 Nov Easy to trust? Predatory? A natural born wanderer? The Core Essence reflects whether a relationship will be "built to last" or not. If you want a long term relationship with someone to last a lifetime, a central quality to look for is trustworthiness. Most of us understand that in deciding to stay in a relationship. 29 Nov Love may not be the best reason to stay in a relationship. Photo: Stocksy. It's tough. It can take years. It can take counselling, and a great deal of soul searching. And there are many factors you need to consider when deciding whether to go. But there is one key element that you must completely disregard.
If you are wondering when the line has been crossed and when it is time to set your boundaries and gracefully leave a relationship, you will have to rely on your judgment, your heart, your emotions and support from those who don't have an agenda for you and your relationship.
Stop thinking about it. Deciding whether to leave a relationship. OK Relationship—Discuss this questionnaire with your partner. We can love people who put us down, who make us afraid, who treat us with disrespect. All my previous relationships had ended in clean, obvious ways:
Below I offer a tool for helping you gain some clarity. Before I reveal the tool, I'll give you some case studies that show the complexity of deciding to stay or go. Sally was in Whether To Stay In A Relationship Or Not with her boyfriend who was attractive and charming.
He was also intelligent and kept her thinking and inspired. However she kept having this problem that she couldn't trust that he was faithful to her.
She also wasn't sure she could trust everything he said. Sometimes she wondered if he had a hidden agenda with her. Beth was living with the guy of her dreams. When she met him link fell in love with his good looks and intelligence. Now that they were living together she realized he was not easy to be with. He argued about everything, always playing the devil's advocate.
She knew he had a heart of gold and was totally devoted to her, but wondered if marriage was in the cards since day to day life was more challenging that she thought. Brad was in love with his girlfriend who was everything he ever dreamed of. She was beautiful and fun to be with. After they moved in together he noticed that she spend a lot of time recreational shopping and asked him if he would like to finance her cosmetic surgery.
He thought she was already beautiful and didn't think she needed any improvements. She told him she just wanted to make him the happiest man in the world.
He was worried about staying with someone who was so high maintenance, but was she was easy to talk to and she was always the life of the party. Reading through these brief excerpts it's obvious that each decision is highly personal and you would need to know lots more information to have a clear idea if a person should stay or go.
But these stories illustrate the basic points of my tool for helping you gain clarity. For purposes of simplification, think of each person as having 3 different layers that reveal themselves more the longer the relationship lasts.
The Three Layers of Love Tool 1. In the dating click, you only get to know the Superficial Side of your date. This is the person's personality and level of attractiveness.
Can’t Decide Whether to Stay or Go? Ask Yourself These 7 Questions | MadameNoire
A person can be shy or outgoingfun or serious, assertive or passive among many other traits that we can figure out within a few dates. Many people make decisions about whether to keep dating someone on appearance alone. Many people also make judgments about level of success early on and use that as http://24dating.me/vygi/questions-to-ask-your-partner-about-your-relationship.php main factor in deciding whether to continue a relationship or not.
If a couple decides to live together or has been dating for a long time they get to see another layer - what is this person like to live with on a day-to-day basis - this is the Daily Dose layer.
How To Decide Whether To Stay Or Leave Your Marriage
Some people are irritating, stressed out, easy to be with, woefully disorganized or super-orderly. A person who is more controlling might be harder to live with and a person who was more passive might be easier to live with. At some point you will gain a sense of the Core Essence of a person. Is this person solid gold? A natural born wanderer? The Core Essence reflects whether a relationship will be "built to last" or not.
If you want a long term relationship with someone to last a lifetime, a central quality to look for is trustworthiness. Most of us understand that in deciding to stay in a relationship, the most important layer is going to be the Core Essence of a person.
The problem is that it can be really hard to figure out what is the Core Essence of a person and what is the Superficial Side and what is the Daily Dose. He was attractive, successful and on a day to day basis fun and stimulating to Whether To Stay In A Relationship Or Not with.
All of these traits can create high powered feelings of attraction that make it confusing that at the end of the day, you don't trust this guy. If you find yourself wondering if he's please click for source the truth, and knowing at some level he can't be faithful to you, you might consider if this guy is really a keeper.
This can be really hard to do with all the intense feelings you might have that might drown out the still small voice that knows something is off. If deep down you know something is wrong but are hopeful that he will change once you get married, you might want to ask yourself if that is a realistic hope.
Many times it is not. In Beth's case, she was confused by the day to day irritations of arguments over small things. In her gut she knew the guy at his Core Essence was solid gold. When she reviewed her past relationships she realized they had failed because she had been attracted to the "bad boys. When she was able to separate the day to day irritations as reflecting the friction of managing two lives with their own stressors from Whether To Stay In A Relationship Or Not central core as a loyal and loving partner she realized that she was eager to forge a passionate partnership with this "keeper.
When Brad used the tool of the three layers to sort out his complicated feelings for his girlfriend he began to see that his girlfriend's consumerism was a reflection of a Core Essence that was empty and desperately insecure. Even though she was beautiful she never felt good enough. She had never explored her depths because she had so many men interested in her that if one relationship didn't work out she always had many temptations and men eager to rescue continue reading. He realized that spending his life supporting her recreational shopping to fill her inner void would be a life of hardship.
If you are wondering whether to stay or go, you can use this tool of peeling away the layers of the Superficial Side, The Daily Dose and The Core Essence to help you make your decision. The most important factor should always be whether you are passionate about your partner's Core Essence. Daily problems can be resolved with improved communication skills and other relatively easy fixes. It is foolish to believe that you will be able to make changes in a person's Core Essence.
It might be tempting to stay with someone who impresses your friends with their attractiveness and charm. Sometimes you might be tempted to stay with someone whom you have great sexual chemistry with but are constantly questioning his or her honesty. If you are looking for a relationship for the long haul, focus on the Core Essence.
I thought this was a very thoughtful and useful article. I feel that it can be tougher than Whether To Stay In A Relationship Or Not because of a persons own character flaws.
In other words, someone might be source poor reader on Core Essence unless they understand and compensate for their own flawed history, thoughts, and feelings.
Webb for your informative post. After watching a short play" The Song of Lunch", airing on Nov. This is a great article. Looking back retrospectively at relationships I have been in that were positive, nurturing relationships, I did not have that gut feeling of mistrust the partner of the Pirate had.
However, in some intense relationships that were very emotional and consuming, I always had that feeling, but ignored it until information confirmed that this was not someone I could depend on. How does one learn to listen and trust their gut earlier?
If we do not keep up with it, we are in danger of losing it. It might be tempting to stay with someone who impresses your friends with their attractiveness and charm. And so, when deciding whether to stay with someone or leave, you need to take love out of the equation.
Its always easier for many of us to look back with hind sight; Though we can't totally erase some painful past sometimes, we can learn from it to move on. An old saying was: Practice makes perfect" make sense to me. Also, not just checking in with our gut but with our heart.
Imagine a fork in the road. Ask yourself how you feel taking the path of staying.
How does it feel in your gut and in your heart? Imagine the path of leaving. How does it feel in your gut and your heart?
Our dreams can offer guidance too Get Listed on Psychology Today. Ones self Submitted by Eric on November 28, - Webb for your Submitted by Love on December 2, - 5: Submitted by Anonymous on December 6, - 4: Its always easier for many of Submitted by Love on December 6, - 7: Post Comment Your name.
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