Why do married men cheat and stay married
7 reasons even the HAPPIEST husbands cheat
If Priya's husband, Colin, were to stumble upon a text, a photo, or an email that revealed his wife's dalliance, he would be devastated. And thanks to modern Strange as it may seem, affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They reveal our personal. 9 Oct One of the Reasons Why Married Men Cheat is that they have a Stronger Sex Drive. Yeah, sounds Power, privilege, and a sense entitlement also have a role to play with these otherwise “happy” husbands. This is This finding surprised me, and I would like to see more research on affairs and limerence. 21 Sep Esther Perel's The State of Affairs, reveals that more married women are unfaithful than ever before. Here, they Twenty or thirty years ago they might have opted for divorce, because surely there was another man out there who could do better in this role, who could satisfy them completely. But a lot of.
When I researched this question, I discovered lots of useless opinions and dubious surveys. I thought our readers might want to learn what some new higher quality, social science research coming out of our universities has to say about why married men cheat.
Research tells us that there can be many reasons.
Why Do Some Happily Married Folks Cheat? | Psychology Today
The following causes are not ranked in order of importance. But each reason has some clinical research behind it.
A wry look into the mind of the male monogamist
This is often the situation when cheating occurs. I interpret this as a comment on how powerful the male sex drive is, not as an excuse for poor impulse control. Men have as much willpower as women, but the temptation to stray in inherently greater.
Self-control, from an evolutionary biology perspective, is one of the new kids on the cognitive block.
Tidwell and her team see infidelity, in part, as an impulse control see more. Loras College psychologist Julia Omarzu and a few of her colleagues conducted a study of people who were either currently or very recently having an extra-marital affair. However, researchers may one day look back on the Omarzu study and credit it for helping to clarify where more research is needed. Omarzu is a helpful new addition to our understanding of the emotional context of infidelity.
Lack of Sexual Satisfaction in the Marriage. The Omarzu study suggests that unhappiness with their marital sex life may draw men into affairs.
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved
This is backed up by other research which suggests that the greater the income disparity between a couple, the greater the likelihood of infidelity. Lack of Emotional Intimacy in the Marriage.
We know, however, that lack of emotional intimacy is more of an issue for unhappily married women. But it is also true for some men. Men hunger for appreciation.
Men often get drawn into workplace affairs because they become addicted to the unmitigated esteem and validation they feel from their affair partner. Validation, admiration, and appreciation check this out some of the well-worn tools of the workplace mate-poacher. Restlessness, Pursuit of Novelty, and Desire for Autonomy. This research finding was similar to research by Allen and Baucomwhich reported that men with a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style would cheat as a way to distance from their spouse.
Attachment science is helping us to learn more about infidelity. Other research by Del Giudice and Feeney demonstrates that men are more likely to develop a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style, while women tend to acquire an Anxious-Avoidant Why Would A Happily Married Man Have An Affair style.
I will be writing about attachment research and infidelity in future posts. In the Omarzu study, relatively few men reported that they cheated because they fell out of love with their spouse, or in love with their affair partners.
Why married men cheat has less to do with love or limerence. Because a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment is so prevalent among men, they tend to be much more casual and superficial in their infidelities than women.
I don't see where there's a debate here. You're right Submitted by Anonymous on November 28, - 3: What Makes an Intimate Relationship Intimate?
This finding surprised me, and I would like to see more research on affairs and limerence. Very few Men in the Ormazu study reported that they had become infatuated or obsessed with their affair partner. Sexual satisfaction, validation, and to a somewhat lesser extent, emotional intimacy were more commonly reported reasons why married men cheat than limerence. Getting even with a cheating partner is a familiar theme in Hollywood movies, but it rarely plays out that way in real link. It does happen…just not that often.
We have growing reason to believe that the individual attachment styles of men are a template for understanding their sexual behavior. According to Coopersecurely attached men are more likely to confine their sex life to their committed relationship. As this research begins to inform clinical practice, Why Would A Happily Married Man Have An Affair couples therapy will become even more successful in treating infidelity by helping distressed couples to develop secure attachment.
Attachment styles, sex motives, and sexual behavior. Dynamics of Romantic Love: Attachment, caregiving, and sex pp. Sex Differences in Succumbing to Sexual Temptations: A Function of Impulse or Control?
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin Motivations and emotional consequences related to engaging in extramarital relationships. Daniel is a Marriage and Family Therapist. He currently sees couples at Couples Therapy Inc.
Nearly 15 percent of women say they have cheated. Couples would not have to partake in lying and deceit if perhaps there was discussion and understanding about having sex with another partner. In case you haven't sensed a theme here, emotions play a great deal more into infidelity than we tend to think. Call us for more information to reach me, Daniel Dashnaw, or my assistant Nicole and use option 2. Cheating is reflective of a very alarming dysfunctional and disruptive pattern.
More Reasons Why Married Men Cheat…Desire…Frustration…Disconnection Loras College psychologist Julia Omarzu and a few of her colleagues conducted a study of people who were either currently or very recently having an extra-marital affair. Why Do Married Men Cheat? Attachment Science is Providing New Answers We have growing reason to believe that the individual attachment styles of men are a template for understanding their sexual behavior.
Call us for more information to reach me, Daniel Dashnaw, or my assistant Nicole and use option 2.